By Pete McArdle
Joe Biden, with his history of brain injuries (two!), rapidly advancing dementia, lifelong tendency to plagiarize, lie, and self-aggrandize, and his mouthful of marbles and no doubt costly white porcelain, can be quite difficult to understand.
As a public service, then, allow me to translate some of Crusty Joe’s “Soul of America” speech to the best of my ability.
“We, the people.”
By that, Biden meant Democrats, teachers unions, the fake-news media, the hopelessly corrupt DoJ and FBI, and Big Tech.
“MAGA forces are… a threat… to the very soul of this country!”
What old Joe means is, if Republicans recapture Congress and Trump wins re-election, that will most certainly threaten the Biden Crime Family’s various lucrative grifts involving Ukraine, China, and Russia.
“They (the Ultra-MAGA movement) look at the mob who stormed the Capitol… as patriots!”
Of the Jan. 6th and BLM protestors, I previously had a single thought. People who cause injuries, fear, and property damage should be seen as criminals and robustly prosecuted. But considering the Axis justice applied to the Jan 6th demonstrators and the get-out-of-jail-free passes given the Antifa and BLM movements, Biden’s statement may well be worth considering.
“They live, not in the light of truth, but in the darkness of lies!”
I have no idea what Joe was trying to say here, except that he reminded me of the fire-and-brimstone priests of my youth. In more ways than one.
Considering the way Biden squints in bright light, perhaps that line’s merely an allegory on his pressing need for double cataract surgery.
“We are still an America that believes in… respect for others.”
Except you Ultra-MAGA maggots. Kiss the floor and give me twenty, you pro-life, flag-waving, Trump-loving scum!
“A willingness to engage in political violence is fatal to democracy.”
For the millionth time, Slow Joe, the United States is not a democracy. Thank God. And come November, “a willingness to engage in political violence” will be electorally fatal to more than a few Democrats.
“FBI agents just doing their job as directed.”
That statement proves conclusively that even a brain-compromised nitwit is right once a millennium. The FBI has been doing their job, exactly as directed by Obama, Biden, and God knows who else. No one ever said the Feebs don’t work hard, no, just that they’re Democrat tools in suits.
“We can’t let the integrity of our elections be undermined.”
What Biden undoubtedly meant to say — perhaps the teleprompter or Biden’s cortex suffered a momentary glitch while he spoke — was that we can’t allow integrity in our elections, hence, the Democrat drive for mail-in voting, drop-boxes, early and late voting, ballot harvesting, I.D.-free voting, etc., etc.
“Today, COVID no longer controls our life.”
This was a dog whistle to all of Biden’s white coat supremacist pals, to please, please come up with another health emergency soon so we can strangle our constituents with mandates, declare winners and losers in the marketplace, and find new and innovative ways to cheat electorally.
“Light is now visible.”
This is just a rumor, but… sources tell me V.P. Kamala Harris wrote that line.
“The future will be made in America, no matter what the white supremacists… say.”
Wait, what? Why wouldn’t white supremacists want our country to have increased industry and production? Seems no one in the White House bothered to ask any white supremacists their views on U.S. GDP.
“My word as a Biden.”
Trust me! Biden’s saying. Just because Barry and me sicced the FBI and several other federal agencies on Trump before, during, and after his presidency, doesn’t mean I’m a Fibber McGee, you plant-based pony soldier!
“The soul is what makes us, us.”
Kammy definitely wrote that.
“Speak out! Speak up! Get engaged! Vote, vote, vote!”
What Sleepy Joe’s saying to his supporters here, in order of appearance: Make people of other persuasions miserable with your constant sermonizing! Do it loudly! And obnoxiously! And make sure to vote multiple times, wink, wink!
“Donald Trump and the MAGA Republicans represent… extremism.”
Heading into the midterm elections, that’s what Joe really wanted his listeners to know. The people who want to work, raise families, and be left alone; who defend the rights of the unborn; who want protection from the drugs, weapons, and unsustainable tide of humanity flowing across our southern border, they’re extremist.
The people who want their kids taught reading, writing, and math, not racial grievance, absurd gender theories, and a million reasons to hate America, they’re extremist.
The folks who want criminals and drug dealers arrested and incarcerated, so they and their family can walk the city streets without fear, they’re extremist.
The citizens who pay their bills (and taxes!) faithfully, and resent having to pay someone else’s college loans?
Now, loopy Joe Biden may have no idea what he means about anything. All we can say for sure, is that he can still read off a teleprompter what someone else wrote for him. After which he is no doubt rewarded with a cup of butterscotch pudding.
But whoever wrote the “Soul of the Nation” speech clearly thinks those who oppose the current corrupt and lawless administration are “extremists.” And this speech is clearly a prelude to the federal government bringing the hammer down hard on their political opponents.
Because that’s what you do with extremists.