16 Ways To Tell If You Are An Old Soul

How can you tell if you are an old soul? Are there differences in traits or behaviors? What signs can I look for that can help me differentiate the difference?

16 ways to tell if you are an old soul

Generally speaking, we are all old souls, but some of us have been here longer than others.

The word “old” is only relative to time. Because time is linear and our souls are eternal, 10,000 years would be the blink of an eye.

Dolores Cannon believes that we need to incarnate many, many times to learn all of the lessons we came here for.

16 Ways To Tell If You Are An Old Soul

1. You Understand Many Of Life’s Deeper Lessons.

For some people, it is hard to fathom that the soul of a child may be much older than the soul of his or her parents. For these particular people, this is a sign that their soul might be younger than yours. When you begin to understand why you keep incarnating to this 3rd dimensional reality, it becomes similar to the movie, Groundhog Day, where Phil wakes up each day to find out that it’s still February 2nd until he learns how to remove his ego and starts doing kind deeds for others.

Once you realize that time, space, energy and matter are 3rd dimensional products, the theory of time becomes irrelevant, thus the theory of how old your soul is also becomes irrelevant.

But for the sake of understanding how old your soul may be, we’ll continue!

2. You Are In Touch With Your Natural Abilities Or Have An Extreme Interest In These Abilities.

Some people are born with innate gifts, such as special healing abilities or psychic abilities. The truth is that we all possess these abilities, but an older soul is more in tune with how to access and implement these abilities in the name of humanity. If you don’t have any particular ability, but have a strong interest in them, this is simply your soul trying to recall these abilities that you may have had in a previous lifetime.

3. You Become Spiritually Aware.

Everyone is pure consciousness, but many people have a difficult time understanding what this means. Your soul is pure consciousness and love. It has a unique understanding of how the matrix is being played on this planet and understands that everything we do as a collective will help to facilitate the awakening of others.

4. You Understand The Importance Of Forgiveness.

Some people are old souls who still have much to learn because they are trapped inside the box with their ideologies, they are stubborn, or they have not learned the importance of forgiveness. By forgiving yourself and others, we can release any karma between these people.

5. You’re Able To Transcend Ego.

It’s nearly impossible for anyone to completely transcend ego 100% of the time but simply being aware of our ego and how it plays against unity consciousness is a definite sign of an old soul. On the other side, there is no ego. During your life review, you will re-live your ego and will see how it affected others, as well as yourself. At this point in “time”, you will probably make a soul contract with the hopes of overcoming ego and atoning for whatever ego issues you had in your previous incarnation.

6. You’re Able To Transcend Materialism.

Money and materialism are products of this 3rd dimensional reality and it’s easy to succumb to materialism, especially when it’s in your face through advertising, programming and peer pressure. An older soul realizes that money is non-existent on the other side and it generally takes away from who we truly are as spiritual beings.

Those who are older souls will generally use money as a tool to either help facilitate their spiritual progression through spiritual retreats or by possibly creating a lavish feng shui home decorated with spiritual meaning versus the most luxurious furnishings. They may also use their money to help others who are less fortunate.

7. You Are Able To Understand The Concept That Your Body Is A Shell For Your Soul.

Before you were born, you not only chose your parents, you also chose your life situations and challenges that would help to facilitate your spiritual growth while atoning for any previous karma. The body that you are currently in is simply a vessel for your soul.

Your name is what your soul currently refers itself as, but in previous lifetimes, you had many different names and you have lived many previous lives as either a male or a female. Your name and title are both associated with ego because ultimately, you are infinite consciousness and we are all on the same team.

8. You Seem To Have A Special Connection To Eras Long Before You Were Born.

Did you ever watch an old movie or see some artwork from a specific era in time and have a connection to that era? Chances are, you lived a previous life during that time period and this is your cellular memory letting you know!

9. You Have An Understanding Of What You Need To Do To Complete Your Spiritual Progression.

Just by making it this far, you are more awakened than most people on this planet. You have an understanding of Universal laws and what is left to do on your soul contract. Even if you are not specifically sure of either, your higher self and spirit guides will continue to lead you in the right direction.

10. You Have A Strong Feeling That Home Isn’t Earth.

Did you ever look at a random area of the sky and stare at an unknown star for no particular reason? Do you have a special connection with specific star systems such as the Pleiades or Orion’s Belt? Do wars and corruption make you feel uneasy, as if they didn’t exist where you originally came from? Are you one of the souls who volunteered to come here at this specific point in time to help with the Earth’s ascension? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then chances are, Earth is not your home planet.

11. You Tend To Be A Loner.

The stigma on the word loner is often condescending, but those who are old souls are merely looking for other fragments of themselves and will often distance themselves from younger souls who need more incarnations into a 3rd dimensional planet. Older souls will seek out other like-minded people because there’s a comfort and familiarity with these types of people who will help to facilitate each others spiritual progression.

12. You Have A Rebellious Nature.

Whether you rebel from religion, laws or anything else, this is a sign that your soul knows the only true laws… the Laws of the Universe. While you respect the reasoning and intention behind laws and religion, you might not be compelled to use these as absolute laws when you know there are a set of higher laws that are intended to facilitate our spiritual progressions.

13. You Have A Burning Desire To Attain Truth And Inner Wisdom.

Many older souls can easily see through the lies we’ve been taught through religion, politics and through our educational facilities. While they realize they are all one with the universe, they also want the truth exposed to help other people’s awakening process. They also continue to seek knowledge in the spiritual, metaphysical and esoteric fields and will absorb this information much easier than anything they were taught in school.

14. You Are Not Controlling Of Others.

Older souls are more accepting, not just of other people, but of circumstances as well. For example, while you don’t approve of the corruption within politics, you understand how the corruption will help to awaken other people to the truth. You respect the free will of others and are more likely to use tact than verbal demands of others. You tend to be more of a team player than anything else.

15. You Sense A Separation Between Yourself And The “Real World”.

As you transcend ego and materialism, you find yourself living a different lifestyle. While this lifestyle is unique to your current incarnation, there also seems to be a familiarity of the direction you’re heading.

16. You Are Curious Whether You’re An Old Soul Or Not.

Many young souls wouldn’t ask this question or much less be concerned about it. While many older souls aren’t concerned either, for different reasons, they simply “know” they’re old souls, but it’s nice to have affirmations that coincide with your spiritual progression.

There are many lessons we have learned throughout our lifetimes, all of which has culminated into this particular incarnation. All of your previous life incarnations are embedded into your cellular memory and can be recalled through past life regressions.

Most of the people on this planet are old souls, yet many remain unawakened and still have a lot more to learn and will need several more incarnations to a 3rd dimensional planet.

Many of those who are awakened will probably move on to their next level of spiritual progression. It’s important to remember that this is not a race because in the end, we all win. Enjoy every millisecond in this incarnation because this may be the last time you’ll ever experience a 3rd dimensional reality!

By Gregg Prescott, M.S., In5D.com

Where have all the love songs gone?

I got to thinking, where are the real love songs

Blaise Pascal said, “It’s not those who write the laws that have the greatest impact on society. It’s those who write the songs.”

Where are the love songs in today’s culture?

The most beautiful love songs were written in the 40’s and 50’s and none of such beauty have been written since, (and this is coming from someone that grew up in the 80’s)

In the 40’s we listened to the haunting lyrics of “All the Things You Are” by Jerome Kern and Oscar Hammerstein II (see below for lyrics), “Long Ago and Far Away” by Kern and Gershwin and many truly beautiful love songs.

In the 50’s we had “Unchained Melody,” “In the Still of the Night,” “Mona Lisa,” “Since I Don’t Have You,” “You Belong To Me,” and others too numerous to mention.

But love songs that soothe, make you weep and create longing seem few. Today’s lyrics sound stultified and hip, often sexualized instead of captivating and haunting.

True romance is missing in the lyrics of today. Percussion punctuates the heavy music rather than the soft cymbal brushing of the lush, stringed, full-orchestra treatment of the 40’s love songs. Those songs were often punctuated by the bluesy sensuality of the occasional muted trumpet or silky trombone.

Modern songs reflect our culture and there is a harshness to many of the love songs of the 2020’s that is absent in the older romantic songs. The more modern songs often exhibit coarse, angry, divisive and hateful lyrics. People are having a hard time talking to each other and this is reflected in some modern lyrics. The debased culture is reflected in the songs being written. Some songs are cruel and profane. Many are violent, advocating murder, torture and rape.

 ‘‘ I want to kiss every-night
To squeeze and to hold you tight, tight, tight!
I want to make violent love to you
(I want to make violent love)
I wanna’!”

Such songs are a far cry from

Prelude:

Time and again I’ve longed for adventure

Something to make my heart beat the faster

What did I long for? I never really knew

Finding your love I’ve found my adventure

Touching your hand, my heart beats the faster

All that I want in all of this world is you

Chorus:

You are the promised kiss of springtime

That makes the lonely winter seem long

You are the breathless hush of evening

That trembles on the brink of a lovely song

You are the angel glow that lights the star

The dearest things that I know are what you are

Someday my happy arms will hold you

And someday I’ll know that moment divine

When all the things you are, are mine

The melody that was composed back then fits the words perfectly. It was lush, haunting, lovely in the truest sense of the word. Maybe the songs were really kitsch that just coincidentally happened to raise the hairs on one’s arms, but it didn’t seem so. It felt elevated and almost sacred. Such loveliness seems absent today. In its place is a matter-of-fact recitation of the age-old desires of people in love such as, “I want you baby,” but there seems to be a lack of depth to modern songs. No doubt people are just as in love as they were back in the day and still dance close together to modern songs at weddings, but are writers as driven to write true beauty as they were back then?

Genuine beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but genuine genius in song-writing is usually obvious and currently absent. Perhaps many of us are who are longing for the musical Good Old Days should resign ourselves to the fact that poignancy is a thing of the past. Perhaps we graybeards are too far removed from modern culture. Maybe we should accept that our youth has fled and they just don’t write songs like they used to. 

But perhaps it is right to lament the loss of lushness, loveliness and genius in song-writing and composing of the kind that brought tears to the eyes and a transcendent lift to the soul. As a reflection of the American culture, it is hard to see the beauty and soul-inspiring pathos of today’s music. I mourn that loss and know that with the exception of some hymns, I will only ever hear such beauty in music on the other side of this life.

10 Profound Realizations That Arise With Higher Consciousness

The term raising our consciousness refers to the act of stepping back from the canvas to perceive a bigger chunk of the picture.

Just like a painting, when you are too close to the painting you can see all the little imperfections and confusing dots that make no sense from that point of view.

But when you take a step back, you realize that every single thing in the picture is at its right place, there are no imperfections on the beautiful picture that you are seeing.

This analogy is describing what happens when you raise your consciousness to higher levels.

Suddenly all the little things you saw as flawed fade away and you start to see a different reality, one where many things create a bigger meaning that you can now perceive.

10 Profound Realizations That Arise With Higher Consciousness:

1. You are responsible for your life.

The control of your life depends on the responsibility you take about your life. The higher your consciousness raises the more you realize you are the only one responsible for your life.

There are many things you can control and many things you can’t control, but your real control is in the way you react to things that happen. You can make choices and reactions, and that’s all the control you really need.

2. Everything connects to everything else.

The bigger picture gives you a different perspective about reality, it shows you how seemingly unconnected details link together. You see that choices and events you didn’t really think had anything to do with each other actually connect on a deeper level.

And this is because most of our choices are inspired by our subconscious configuration. One subconscious occurrence might pull different strings that are seemingly not connected.

3. Our unconscious mind plays a big role in our life.

Just like our subconsciousness is responsible for most of our choices, our unconscious mind is responsible for most things in our life.

Things we have experienced and suppressed, traumas we repressed, emotions we don’t want to feel again, all these things configure a record that is spinning in circles. This record is making us relive same old patterns because it wants us to embrace the parts of ourselves we run away from and become whole.

4. Our emotions shape our reality.

The emotions we feel at a certain moment shape the theme of our reality. If we are in a happy state we perceive things that maintain this state. When we are in a sad emotional state we perceive things that justify the sadness.

When we are angry it’s the same. When we are afraid we start seeing danger in most things. As we raise our consciousness we become aware of this, we see emotions as lenses of reality.

5. Suppressed emotions prevent smooth energy flow.

The emotions we suppress, the sensations we run away from and do not want to feel stay within our emotional body. These sensations accumulate and start to block the smooth energy flow of our body.

The longer they stay the bigger the resistance of feeling them grows. As we raise our consciousness we learn to embrace all of our emotions. We realize there are no good or bad emotions and we embrace all of our sensations.

6. Everything is energy.

As we raise our consciousness to higher levels we start seeing beyond the matter that constructs the world around us. We start to realize that within the matter there are particles smaller than atoms and between these particles there are forces.

We realize that even these particles at their fundamental level are energy. Hence, we realize that everything is energy in a different level of density.

7. Our intuition is most often right.

Most people get the messages their intuition is giving them but they are so focused outside of themselves that they do not even perceive them. Some people feel these sensations but can’t find the logical sense to trust them.

As we raise our consciousness to higher levels, and as we see how things connect to each other, we realize that our intuition was right most of the time in ways we were unable to perceive.

8. Relationships reflect the self.

The relationships we have with other people are the biggest mirrors for the relationship we have with our selves.

The level of dependency and avoidance of our partner, the circle of friends, the way we express our love for other people, the relationship patterns we spin around in, the attributes we find attractive, the personality of our romantic partner, everything reflects an aspect of our inner self.

9. Love is our default state of being.

Most of the world is being presented the romantic idea of love. This is one form of love not all that love is. It’s just one reflection of its infinite number of reflections.

Real love is not just romantic just like fruits are not the only form of food that exists. Real love is our natural state of being and everything that reminds us of this purity within us is associated with this vibration of love that we all naturally have.

10. We are not our feelings and thoughts.

The emotions you are feeling, the thoughts you are thinking are just information. They are like the words you read and the images that you see, like the smells and tastes that you perceive through your senses. You are not these.

You are the one who perceives them. You are the one who is observing the thoughts, you are the one who is observing the emotions. You are the one who sees them.

If some of these realizations resonated with you it means that your consciousness is already at much higher levels than the consciousness of others.

For You Are The One

couple hearts - mobile9 | Heart wallpaper, Heart images, Photo heart

by YC

For you I would Climb the highest mountain peak, swim the deepest ocean, your love I do seek.

For you I would cross the rivers most wide, walk the hottest desert sands, to have you by my side.

For you are the one who makes me whole, you’ve capture my heart and touch my soul.

For you are the one that stepped out of my dreams, gave me new hope, showed me what love means.

For you alone are my reason to live, for the compassion you show and the care that you give.

You came into my life and make me complete, each time I see you, my heart skip a beat.

For you define beauty in both body and mind, your soft, gentle face more beauty I’ll never find.

For you are the one God sent from above, the angel I needed, for whom I do Love.

Reality…

by YC

Sometimes at night, when I look to the sky, I start thinking of you and then ask myself, why?

Why do I love you? I think and smile, because I know the list could run on for miles.

The whisper of your voice, the warmth of your touch, so many little things that make me love you so much.

The way you support me, and help me with my emotions, the way that you care and show such devotion.

The way that your kiss, fills me with desire, and how you hold me with the warmth of a blazing fire.

The way your eyes shine when you look at me, lost with you forever is where I want to be.

The way I feel when you’re by my side, a sense of completion and overflowing pride.

The dreams that i dream, that all involve you, the possibilities I see and the things we can do.

How you finish the puzzle that lies inside my heart, how that deep in y soul, you are the most important part.

I could go on for days, telling you what I feel, but all you really must know is my love for you is real.

The Purpose Of Mass Meditation And Why It Is Needed NOW!

Conscious Retreat

There has never been more isolation than 2020. Already, we were collectively shifting into the 4th dimension of digital space, leaving 3D behind.the purpose of mass meditation and why it is needed now

Molecules were steadily getting replaced with pixels, and physical bodies by selfies and avatars.

However, this year really passed the tipping point into full-blown, solitary confinement where the ‘real’ and ‘unreal’ could truly be questioned.

There are many ways to spin this year’s tumultuous events, but every coin nonetheless has two sides. One person’s lockdown is just another’s home retreat.

On the bright side here, many of us have realized renewed focus as we’re when denied our usual outs.

In essence, we as a society were prescribed a global Vipassanā, a time to take a literal breather from the routine rat race and allow our perpetual motion hamster wheels to run themselves out.

This time, if take mindfully, is a chance to take stock, recharge, and possibly reinvent ourselves for the future

Vipassanā

Vipassanā is just one traditional form of mindfulness meditation that cultivates insight. By remaining still and quiet for long durations, one’s psychological house of mirrors is illuminated and cards collapse.

As reflections and reactions are extinguished from their actual origins within, we can stop the endless feedback loop that runs our lives like a tiresome treadmill.

We’re left standing in an empty boxing ring with no opponent left to fight… but our inner darkness. But the truth is just beyond the shadows. This is liberation in a nutshell! What an opportunity!

Of course, there are many types of meditation, and Vipassanā is just one.

All forms of meditation aim to release blockages and restore full flow, proper alignment, and coherence across all spectrums of spirit, mind, emotion, and the body. It is not uncommon for these to have degenerated through millennia.

Meditation allows for deeper brain states, deprogramming, an increased lifeforce and abundant donor electrons, trauma release, detoxing, and the reawakening of our primal natures.

Various meditation methods may incorporate different focuses to attain openings and activations but in essence, they all clear the dross and dirt from our inner selves.

The end result is generally a more inspired flow state, and less egoic resistance to that state.

Collective Connection

Whichever meditative style you chose, the effects can often be further amplified by practicing meditation with others, creating unified force fields. We are all fractal parts of All, and this connection is innate.

Meditation just reminds us that we are part of a larger, conscious organism. We are both particles and waves, with the ability to choose how our world next materializes.

In Nature, we can physically see this waveform connection with mycorrhizal networks linking entire forests together through their roots and fungal hyphae.

In physics, we find remote connections between quantum-entangled particles infinitely far apart. And technologically, what good would computers or cellphones be without the internet or cloud?

We have also been united this year by the shared experience of crisis, and while it has been an unsettling experience, all experience can drive us back to the path of enlightenment.

Mass Effect

While individual meditation may largely change your life, mass meditation may also change the world at large. Therein lies its greater power, that of a force-multiplier.

Transcendental Meditation’s Maharishi Mahesh has actually proven the measurable effects of mass meditation since the 1960s.

Over 600 studies conducted with more than 125 independent research institutions have scientifically-documented its validity now.

Maharishi’s studies show that when at least 1% of a community’s population meditates on a specific outcome like love, peace, or harmony, the coherence of the group’s energy field impacts the collective consciousness of others.

Even violent crime including homicide rates can be significantly reduced with mass meditation.

When a 1993 study measured mass meditation’s effects on crime in New York City, a notorious hotbed for murder, race riots, and theft, it was found that crime dropped more than 23%.

In short, this demonstrates how powerful collective consciousness can be! Not only for each participant, but their focus as a whole. Individual meditation is life-changing, but mass meditation may be even better!

Global Meditation

In light of these facts, why not join forces and meditate together with synchronized intent? It requires no more individual effort, yet may bear greater results, for both you and the planet.

All outer change starts within. And this is just an easy win-win for all involved that we could sure use more of right now.

We’re On The Edge Of Something HUGE And It’s NOT Political!

Governments are collapsing all around us. Here in the United States, check points are set up while barbed wire is being placed all around Washington DC.

The freemason motto at the 33rd degree is “Ordo ab Chao”, which means “Order out of Chaos”.

That’s exactly what’s happening right now but what’s happening in the galactic, to our spiritual evolution, and in higher dimensional levels?

We are all familiar with the alchemy saying, “As above, so below”. If ALL OF THIS is happening down here on Mother Earth, what is happening in the galactic? What is happening to our DNA? What is happening in higher levels of dimension?

We can all sense and feel that we are on the precipice of something magnanimous, but is that feeling for what’s happening here on our planet or is it possible that we’re sensing something much greater on higher levels of consciousness and existence?

As the world population increases, so does our involvement in technological advancements. What used to take weeks, months or even years now takes weeks, days or even hours.

Is it any coincidence that there is a “Great Awakening” map (which also includes 5D Earth) coinciding with the Great Awakening and our shift in consciousness?

light beings

These days have been prophesied by many. We are on the eve of a spiritual evolution that cannot be compared with anything that is going on politically.

This Star Trek episode called “Transfigurations” is the closest I’ve seen to what we are about to experience:

So, don’t get too caught up in the political side of things. Stay centered and grounded. Keep working on raising your vibration. Do nice things for other people. Envision the world YOU want to live in.

We are about to see unprecedented changes to all world governments. On higher spiritual levels, we are also going to see unprecedented changes.

Be careful not to place too much energy in this 3rd dimensional experience because “energy flows where attention goes”. While the potential changes here on this planet will be exciting, the ones you’ll experience in this dimensional shift will completely blow away anything you’ve ever experience on a 3rd dimensional existence!

Sending you all infinite LOVE and Light!

10 Simple Ways to Live a Less Stressful Life

Stress is a major problem for many people — a hectic, stressful job, a chaotic home life, bills to worry about and bad habits such as unhealthy eating, drinking and smoking can lead to a mountain of stress.

If your life is full of stress, there are some simple things you can do to get to a more manageable level.

Now, your life will probably never be stress-free. That’s not desirable (even if it was possible) because stress is something that challenges you and helps you grow—when it’s at a reasonable level. But when stress gets too high, it causes you to be unhappy and unhealthy.

One of the keys to success is taking a realistic, gradual approach to change. How do you do it? One change at a time. Change one habit a month and gradually, over the course of a year or two, you will find you have made long-lasting changes to many things in your life.

Not all of these tips may work for you. Each person is different. Pick and choose the ones that you feel will be effective for you, and give them a try. One at a time.

  1. One thing at a time. This is the simplest and best way to start reducing your stress, and you can start today. Right now. Focus as much as possible on doing one thing at a time. Clear your desk of distractions. Pick something to work on. Need to write a report? Do only that. Remove distractions such as phones and email notifications while you’re working on that report. If you’re going to review email, do only that. This takes practice, and you’ll get urges to do other things. Just keep practicing and you’ll get better at it.
  2. Simplify your schedule. A hectic schedule is a major cause of high stress. Simplify by reducing the number of commitments in your life to the essentials. Learn to say no to the rest — and slowly get out of commitments that aren’t beneficial to you. Schedule only a few important things each day, and put space between them. Leave room for down time and fun.
  3. Get moving. Do something each day to be active — walk, hike, play a sport, go for a run, do yoga. It doesn’t have to be grueling to reduce stress. Just move. Have fun doing it.
  4. Develop one healthy habit this month. Other than getting active, improving your health overall will help with the stress. But do it one habit at a time. Eat fruits and veggies for snacks. Floss every day. Quit smoking. Cook a healthy dinner. Drink water instead of soda. One habit at a time.
  5. Do something calming. What do you enjoy that calms you down? For many people, it can be the “get moving” activity discussed above. But it could also be taking a nap, or a bath, or reading. Other people are calmed by housework or yard work. Some people like to meditate, or take a nature walk. Find your calming activity and try to do it each day.
  6. Simplify your finances. Finances can be a drain on your energy and a major stressor. If that’s true with you, find ways to simplify things. Automate savings and bill payments and debt payments. Spend less by shopping (at malls or online) much less. Find ways to have fun that don’t involve spending money.
  7. Have a blast! Have fun each day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Play with your kids — that can take your mind off everything and can be really hilarious. Play sports (with or without your kids). Board games are fun. Whatever you choose, be sure to laugh.
  8. Get creative. Throwing yourself into a creative activity is another great way to de-stress and to prevent stress. Consider writing, painting, woodworking, playing music, sketching, cooking or making pottery, interior design or building things.
  9. Declutter. Take 20 to 30 minutes and just go through a room, getting rid of stuff you don’t use or need anymore or find a better place for it. When you are done, you will have a nice, peaceful environment for work, play, and living. Do this a little at a time — make it one of your “fun activities.”
  10. Be early. Being late can be very stressful. Try to leave earlier by getting ready earlier, or by scheduling more space between events. Things always take longer than normal, so schedule some buffer time: extra time to get ready, to commute, to do errands before you need to be somewhere, to attend a meeting before another scheduled appointment. If you get somewhere early, it’s good to have some reading material. 

Age Of Aquarius: 21 New Rules For 2021Enjoy, People, And Keep The Vibration High!


1.) Above all else, be direct and be honest. Be the one that says what has for too long gone unsaid.

2.) Love insanely. Let it all out into the open. You don’t have time to hold back any longer.

3.) Make yourself strong. Physically strong, emotionally strong, spiritually strong.

4.) Practice radical detachment and letting go. We need to create space for the new paradigm to emerge.

5.) Learn to enjoy being patient in allowing things to unfold naturally without forcing anything.

6.) Express yourself like you never have before. Be more real. Be more raw. Be more open. Be more bad ass. Be more you.

7.) Let death be all the motivation you need to do anything you want to do. The clock is ticking faster than ever.

8.) Don’t be surprised when things work out far better than you could have imagined.

9.) Give away as much freedom to others as you can stand, then give them more. Let them have their stupid differing opinions, or whatever, and just keep on loving them with everything you’ve got.

10.) Do not allow your mind to take the wheel. Steer with your heart.

11.) Make personal evolution your prime directive and watch how quickly your life changes for the better.

12.) Be the person in the room that laughs and smiles the most, showing others how to brush off the madness of the world.

13.) Conserve your energy until it is time to move, then do so with maximum potency.

14.) Stay close to the things you can control and distance yourself from those things which you cannot.

15.) Teach everything you’ve learned so far. Participate fully in our the growth of others.

16.) Create relationships, fix relationships, find common ground, build bridges, and be there for others.

17.) Learn to fiercely observe the world and the people around you.

18.) Rewrite the rules as needed for maximum ease and minimum stress.

19.) Let yourself cry, scream or whatever as needed in order make sure you are a conduit for negative emotions, not a reservoir.

20.) Practice, practice, practice. Engage in your daily practice every single day. Cultivate your inner peace and strength through the continuity of your intentions.

21.) Maintain the highest possible vibration you can and make a point of being infectious to others.

How to Have Deeper, More Intimate Conversations

In a time of disconnection, deep conversations can make all the difference.

David Brooks, the opinion columnist for The New York Times, wrote an article last month titled “Mental Health in the Age of the Coronavirus,” describing how the anxiety and isolation of the pandemic were impacting everyone in some way. He quoted Bonnie Badenoch, an expert in trauma, who felt one antidote to this stress was a need to have “deep reciprocal attunement (with others) that makes you feel viscerally safe,” and Martha Welch, a professor at Columbia University, who stressed the need to connect with others by having “vulnerable,” deep conversations. 

Deep conversations may be an important way to connect with those we care about in these difficult times, but they are always a good idea. They are the foundation of strong intimate relationships — those “we talked all night” conversations when dating, or those seemingly rare but cherished, heartfelt times when you lowered your guard and spoke from your heart with someone you trust. They connect you to the human race, to those important in your life, in some way to yourself.

Good idea, but often easier said than done. Here are some tips of going deeper into your conversations:

Make sure it’s a good time to talk

This is a matter of logistics. It’s hard to have a deep conversation when someone is on their cell phone driving to the grocery store or when they are trying to get their three kids to bed. These times are for quick check-ins — how-you-doing, catch-you-later speed conversations. For those deeper conversations you need time; find out if the other person has some. Simple question: Is this a good time to talk?

Set the tone

Because you’re the one initiating this, you need to be the one to set the tone, the one to let the other person know that you’re interested in having more than a how-you-doing check-in. There are two ways of doing this.

One is to set the tone by talking about yourself more deeply than you usually do. You want to move beyond the standard, “I’m good,” to more honest statements about how you are really doing – I’ve been feeling down lately; I don’t know about you, but my kids are driving me crazy; I had been doing okay until Tom and I had this argument last night. This is about self-disclosure and revealing more of you and your feelings. With this introduction, you are letting the other person know what kind of conversation you want to have, what emotional level you are comfortable talking about. You can then turn the conversation towards them.

The other approach is to ask hard questions at the start: Not the “Doing okay?” but “Have you been having a hard time?” “Have you been feeling depressed or worried?” “Are your kids driving you crazy or struggling?” People only know what is safe to talk about based on what you talk about and what you ask. By drilling down into specific, more emotionally difficult conversations, you are letting the other person know that you are ready to hear what they have to say, that you are ready to go there.

Ask about details

Good therapists do this instinctively. They try to move from broad statements (“I’ve been feeling anxious“) to the details: What about, what thoughts have you had, how do you talk to yourself? You don’t need to be a therapist and try to deconstruct the other person’s psychology, but you want to ask about details (about an argument they had or about how the kids are driving them crazy) because emotions ride on content. Broad questions yield broad, bland emotions; detailed questions stir deeper, more poignant feelings. And expressing these deeper emotions and having them accepted glues people together.

Give space between emotions

And when these emotions arise, you only need to acknowledge them (“That must have been hurtful; that sounds so frustrating”) and then stop and be silent. This can be hard—our instincts are to repair, to fix, to make it better by saying the right thing right then to calm the waters. Don’t. Take a few deep breaths, allow room for you both to absorb what has been said (or for them to finish ranting or crying).

Slow down, focus on them

In the same vein, you want to slow the conversation overall. Move through the conversation like a turtle, not a jackrabbit. Keep the focus on them, give them the room and attention they need, and resist using their stories as launchpads to talk about your own. Only when they are done is it time to turn the conversation towards you.  

Take risks

You know if you are moving into more vulnerable and intimate territory if what you want to say makes you feel uncomfortable, you get those butterflies of anxiety. Intimacy is not about disclosing some big, dark secret, but saying anything that is, for you, difficult to say. Take that risk for yourself, and listen for it in the other person. They may say “I’ve never said this before or thought about this before,” or there may be a hesitation or an unfinished sentence and a sigh. Ask them to finish the sentence. Give them space to say what is hard to say. 

Use your anxiety as a sign that you are emotionally plowing new ground. Go deeper to connect.